Welcome Back To Charming
by LokisChaosInLove
Summary: This is the ongoing love story of Lexus Marrow, fictional daughter of Clay and Gemma Marrow and Juan Carlos Ortiz as known as Juice Ortiz.
1. WelcomeHomeLexi

Welcome Home Lexi

"This cab smells like fast food and sweat" Lexi texted her best friend Kamri. The greasy haired cab driver kept glancing in the mirror at her everytime her phone went off, "Are you sure you'll be fine alone at Teller Morrow ma'am? I know that some less than favorable people hang out there." Sighing I say, "Yep I'll be ok, I'm sure. Grew up here, my parents own it." He glances once more and then goes back to driving. We pull up and the anxiety swells in my chest. I take a few deep breaths and open the door. My phone goes off again. "Lol it can't be that bad Id be more worried about talking to your mom" I quickly text back "wish me luck". Welcome back to Charming Lex, let's get this over with I think to myself. I step out and hand the driver 40. "Thank you, keep the change"! He takes one last long stare at the pretty, nervous girl standing there and then drives away. Ive been anxious about this day for several weeks now. I ran away from Charming to live with my dad's cousin and aunt in Texas when I was 19. I was rebellious and hard to handle. A real life teenaged mess! I hated Charming, hated the drama. I was a grown up now though, I had my life under control. I was going to become the best aunt to Abel and I was going to be a permanent fixture in his life. Ever since my brother called me to let me know I was an aunt and he was born with complications I'd been on edge.

"Lexus LeAnne Marrow get your ass over here and hug your Uncle!" "Uncle Piney!!" I hold on to the old man that's been my uncle from birth. In fact many of these men here in this shop today were my "Uncles". These men were my family, the family chosen by my parents. "I missed you little lady. We all have!" I step back. "Everyone? Mom too?" Piney sits at the picnic table, "Girl your mother loves you. Everything shes done, she did out of love." I roll her eyes. "She hates me Uncle Piney." He looks at me full of love, "Well I know differently, your momma loves you more than you will ever know. You're here now and we're all happy you're home!" "Thank you! Is she in the office?" He nods. "She's in there Lex, give her a chance!" I nods back as I stand in front of the office door, debating weather or not to knock. My hands are sweaty and I'm nervous but I tap the glass anyway. I clear my throat "Mom?" Gemma stands up immediately, "Lexus? Is that you?" I open the door slowly. Gemma walks over and wraps her arms around her daughter. "Welcome home baby! I can't believe it, you're actually here!" I'm a bit taken aback. "Hey Mama!" Gemma squeezes her tighter. "Lexus, I know things have been crazy between us for a long time now but I want this family together. All of us. Your nephew is going to pull through and we are going to be a family." Lexi sighs, "I was nervous coming back here, Mom. I was really nervous seeing you face to face. I love you and I missed you." Gemma smiles back at her. "Hey here's your house key, I planned a homecoming dinner for you tonight. We are going to have lasagna and salad. It used to be your favorite, I hope it still is." Lexi takes the key from her mom and exhales easily. "Sure, sounds good. Is daddy here?" "No not yet, they have some business to handle but he'll be home for your dinner!" "I guess I'll go unpack." I walk out the office and glance around the shop parking lot, what a strange greeting from my mom.

I feel like I'm 16 again! She didn't change anything. I walk to my day bed and reach down to pull out an old shoebox. It's faded pink and covered in stickers. Opening it, I spill the contents onto my bed. It's comforter white and ruffled. A small spiral bound notebook, a lighter, pictures of my friends and I, of my brothers, a silver bracelet with a heart charm attached, and lastly an envelope and letter addressed to My Lexi Love. I pick up the notebook and look it over, it's covered in my handwriting. "I love you babe" "Mrs Lexi Ortiz" "JCL 4Eva" I giggle to myself and open it up. Pages and pages of my high school day dreams, thoughts of the future career, my future family, my life as I dreamed it and mostly of my first and only long time love. My Juan Carlos. I slid it and the letter under my pillow to read later. I picked up the bracelet, slid it into my pocket. Maybe I should give it back to him. It's been four whole years since I've been gone, how weird would it be to see him? How's he going to act when and if we talk? Does he have an old lady now? I did break his heart, sometimes I still thought I should have never left him there. All these thoughts flooded through my head, I threw everything else back in the box and slid it back under the bed kicking it with my foot.

Walking around my parents house, staring at all the pictures that filled the walls brought back all the memories I harbored away in the last couple of years. Pictures of my brothers, Jackson and Thomas, pictures of myself, pictures of my mom and dad. Jax and Tommy were 10 and 4 years older than me. I'd never remembered Thomas but I always wondered how he would have turned out and who he would have been. His pictures made me smile. Jax has always been one of my heroes, he survived growing up with Gemma and that itself seemed like a great feat. Standing there in my parents living room It felt good to be home. This place was my safe haven, even though there was always MC chaos, this was still my home. Walking in the kitchen there was a note attached to the fridge, "Lexi welcome back home. Love Mom Dad" I smiled to myself, maybe it'll be easier now.

I walked out to the garage and uncovered my old car. This mustang was my teenage dream. It was a '01 Cobra convertible and I adored it. I had begged mom and dad for this car for two years. I first saw it as it went into the garage when I was 14 and fell in love. I begged Gemma and Clay for it for 2 years. Then on my 16th birthday Clay showed up in it. He handed me the keys and just smiled. He had tracked it down and bargained with the owner. Dad wasn't the most affectionate but I knew he loved me. My parents threw me a giant sweet sixteen party at the garage that night. That was the night I met Juan Carlos. He was 17, a run away, somehow he ended up in Charming and the care of uncle Chibbs. His dad bailed when he was a kid and he never spoke about his mom. He was gorgeous and sweet and he had the most infectious smile I'd ever seen. We were instantly inseparable. He made Charming and the craziness of my family bearable. This car was full of memories, memories of high school and all my friends. Memories of riding up and down the streets of Charming at all hours, even when we skipped school. My childhood best friend Tori and I caused so much trouble. Juan Carlos was always the balance for me. Uncle Wayne would ignore it but always call my mom. My favorite memories in this car were my first kiss with Juan Carlos and parking at night and stargazing with him. I hated leaving this car behind, I'd hated leaving him here too.

Around 6:00 some of the old ladies showed up to help Gemma with her welcome home dinner. I keep my eye out for Donna, I missed her and Opie, they had always been a big sister and brother to me. Before Opie went to jail. Donna was different now, she seems very standoffish. Growing up with Gemma was hard, especially since Thomas passed away so early in life. Anxiety started to take over me, I was going to see my dad and my brother, both of which I hadn't seen since I went away. I had always been a daddy's girl and always felt close to Jackson. Jackson and I always stayed connected, even when I ran away we stayed in touch. I talked to daddy by phone but it wasn't the same as before. Half of me wanted to believe that now that I was home I'd pick right back up with my dad and brother. I wanted my family to be together again but I also wanted them to get along. The thunder of motorcycles clouded my ears and I fled to my room to collect myself. I sat on the edge of my bed, looking at the wall wondering if I'd been wise to come back home. What seemed like an hour passed before there was a knock at the door. "What's up kid?" It was Jackson. "Not much just reacquainting myself with my room" He laughed, "you're missing all your guests. Gemma is running out of shit to say!" I walk over to hug my brother, he ruffles my hair and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Come on, let's eat!" It felt nice just to pick up where we left off. I sigh "You're always hungry!" I smiled at this man who looked totally opposite of me and we walk out into the din.

First stop, to see my dad. "Dadddyyyyy!" He smiles wide and picks me up and spins me around. "I'm glad you're home my sweet girl! I missed you!" "I missed you too daddy!" Next up was Chibbs and Tig...lots of hugs and cheek kisses. Followed by Bobby, "I hope you decide to stick around for a while, we all miss you!" "I think I am, I'm going to try" Opie runs up behind me and tosses me over his shoulder. "I'm still the big brother, don't you forget it!" I smack him on the back and tell him "You may be the big brother but I'll still kick your ass!" He sits me down and hugs me. "Aww you guys really did miss me!" Out the corner of my eye I see my mom standing in the kitchen doorway, smiling. She mouths "Welcome home". I smirk and continue to be immersed in hugs and welcome homes. Happy throws me a smile and nod and I know it means "glad you're home girl." Mom has him moving chairs to the table. Everyone starts to sit down and get ready to eat. Luann comes in with my favorite pineapple upside down cake, she hands it to me and an envelope and kisses my cheek. Every since I could remember Luann was an avid money gifter and Otto never bothered to stop her. If she was happy, he was happy. I take the cake to the kitchen and peak in the envelope. 50 and a note that said "Stash this, it's for a rainy day! Love Uncle Otto Aunt Luann." Mom looks at Luann and laughs "Guess you better stash that!"

As I'm standing at the counter, arranging the cake on a dish, I hear a soft cough. More like an attempt to get my attention. I turn around to see Juan Carlos half in the kitchen and half in the dinning room. "Hi Lexi." My heart starts to race and I can feel myself getting sweaty. I choke up as I'm trying to say hey back. "Hey!" My cheeks start to burn and I feel like I'm going to throw up. He stares at me for a minute before saying "Welcome home Lex." He was about to say something else but a girl grabs he by the arm and whispers loudly "Gemma's ready." She glances at me and then pulls him away, clinging to his arm. That answered my earlier questions. Jax walks him and says "Come on guest of honor, I'm hungry." I sit in between dad and Jax, across from mom. I can't help but looking around at this big family of mine. I smile and talk to everyone but inside I'm losing my mind. I didn't expect to still be so effected by the sight of him. I shouldn't feel this way. I glance down the table and briefly look at him. I pretend I'm asking Opie for the bread. I'm flooded with emotions I definitely don't want.

Jax looks at me curiously and then back down the table. "Hey Juice, did you tell Lex, you're finally patched in?" He blankly stares at Jax and shakes his heads no. "I didn't get the chance to." Unable to control myself I giggle out loud. "Juice huh?" He nervously smiles and continues to pick at his plate. "I'm still going to call you Juan Carlos" and stick out my tongue in an attempt to not show my panic. He blushes and nods. The girl next to him asks him quietly if she can call him Juan as well and he told her absolutely not. She turns red and stares down at her plate. Jax looks around the table and yells "Time for cake!" Just to break up the awkwardness. I agree and go grab plates and forks. Mom walks in and looks at me for a minute. "You ok baby? I didn't think I thought about Juice and you being around each other." "I missed him, I didn't think I'd feel like this." She smiles and kisses my forehead, "It's ok baby. From what I gather, I am sure he misses you too." She takes the plates and forks and I walk out to the garage.

I open my car and sit in the drivers seat. I look around seeing what I left in it, digging in the console and glovebox. There right on top in the glovebox was a picture of Juan Carlos and I. We were smiling and holding hands on the hood of this car. I get chills as my anxiety swells in my chest. He had always been gorgeous to me. He had the most beautiful smile and it always gave my heart flutters. There was this sweet innocence about him. The garage door opened and closed softly. I look out into the garage near the freezer and see Juan Carlos and Opie. He walks over. "Your mom sent us out for ice." I nod at him. He continues to walk towards me. He looks over the door down at me and spots the picture that I'm still holding. He asked to see it. I hand it over, he smirks at it. "We were cute". All I could say was "Yeah we were. So Juice huh? It's kinda cute. I'm didn't mean to embarrass you earlier if I did." He smiles that smile that melted my heart so much. "No, it's fine. I'm going to grab your moms ice before she kills me." I stand up to shut my door. He stares at me, as I shut the door. "What?" I ask. He says "Nothing. You're just...you're just still as beautiful as you always have been! And I did miss you." He kisses my forehead and walks back to the freezer, grabs the ice and walks inside. Op smiles at me "Ohhh young love" I squint at him and he walks off. I lean up against my car as soon as he walks inside, "Fuck" I mumble. I think to myself, he's not making this any easier.

I walk in a few minutes later as all the ladies are helping mom clean the kitchen and dining room. The girl with Juan Carlos was helping Luann dry the plates. I hop up on the counter beside my mom and the cake. I overhear them talking and her name is Caitlyn. She was cute, blonde, tan, tall and skinny. She worked for Aunt Luann. I didn't feel as pretty. I am medium height, quite fair skinned, light brown eyes and dark brown hair. I'm not skinny but I'm definitely not fat. Clearly his tastes have changed. She looks at me, staring like she wants to talk to me. My dad walks in for another piece of Luann's pineapple upside down cake. It was his favorite too. I got off the counter and started sticking the plates in the cabinets. This gave me a chance to look at her really well. She was pretty. "Welcome home." "Thank you. I'm Lex by the way." "I know, I've heard a lot about you from Luann...and Juice." "Oh Juan Carlos" I chuckled. She seemed irritated by that. I've just never called him Juice. She got back to drying dishes and ignoring me. About 20 minutes later the kitchen was clean and people went about there goodbyes. Juan Carlos walked in and told Caitlyn it was time to go. She immediately walked over to him and held on to his arm, glancing at me. Asserting her place I assume. I roll my eyes and walk right by them into the living room. I'm not threatened, she seems more irritable.

The doors all close, everyone was gone, mom and dad were getting ready for bed. I hear a knock at the door. My dad answers it, it takes him exactly 3 seconds to come back and say "It's for you princess!" His smile was huge. I walk to the door, wondering who the hell else knows I'm home, my heart skips again and again as soon as I see him. "Juan Carlos". He smiled shyly. "I still had your picture." He pulled the picture out of his cutte and I remembered that I still had the bracelet in my pocket. I pulled it out of my pocket and dangled it in front of him. "I found this this afternoon." He froze. Sighing he said "I gave you that, that's yours. I don't need it back, I'd rather you keep it." I was taken aback. I slid it back in my pocket. I looked at him, breathed in "I'm glad you're here, I wanted to talk to you. We haven't talked since I left. I'm so sorry, I left you here Juan Carlos. That was shitty of me, I wish I could have stayed for you. I wished you could have came with me. I know you never would have left the club and I never would have asked you to. It killed me, I had to do it. I couldn't be here and be happy. Even though you made me so happy. I see you did well though. You got patched in, you have a pretty girlfriend. I'm happy for you." He looked at me like I was a crazy person. "You couldn't stay, I know that now. You couldn't stay for me or for your family. I was hurt more than I ever will admit. But you need to know that I didn't get over you, I just adjusted. I never moved on because I loved you. Caitlyn is not my girlfriend, she's just a girl I hang out with." He grabs my hand. "That bracelet was from my heart. You will always have my heart. I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you tonight." He squeezed my hand and then let it go. He put the picture back in his cutte. At this point I'm feeling like a terrible person. I look down at my feet. Everything he said was full of pain and heartbreak. It radiated from him and poured itself into me. He puts his hand under my chin and tilts my face up towards him. He leans in kissing me softly on the lips. His lips are exactly like I remember, soft yet strong. He pulls away and kisses me again on my forehead. He whispers "Forever Lexi" against my forehead and walks to his bike back down the driveway. "I'll see you around" he calls over his shoulder. FOREVER used to be our thing. It hangs in the air like a thick smoke cloud, choking out my lungs. I hear him drive away and scramble to get to my bedroom floor. I need to regroup. Did that really just happen? I pull out my phone and text Kamri. "Things with my mom went great...wasn't expecting that. Even more so I wasn't expecting the Welcome home." No text back, so I hop in the shower. As the hot water pours over me, I can't help but cry. Every word, every glance, the weight of his presence was more than I was prepared to take in. I get back to my room and realize I'm exhausted. The day was long and I wanted to sleep forever. I climb into my bed and pull the notebook and envelope of letters from under my pillow. I started to read through them when my phone goes off. "Well what happened?" I start to text back but I drift off to sleep.

I wake up to my phone going off at 8am. It was mom, she wanted me to come to the garage when I was up and ready. She's already putting me to work I laugh to myself. I was really excited about going to see Abel, we couldn't hold him yet but we could see him. I text Kamri back the details of mom and my encounters but I hold off on talking about Juan Carlos. I need to think on that. I continue to look through the letters and notebook. I decide that I need to put them away. It only stirs my emotions. We were so in love, such love struck kids. Sometimes I wished I never left him. I wish I never got on that bus and left him standing there in the depot full of tears and heartache. I left to escape my family and future only to come home and have it slap me in the face. Charming was a black hole I never wanted to come back to yet here I was again. I'm not here to hurt anyone else, I'm not here destroy anything, I don't want to hurt JC anymore. I focus on why I came home, I came home to repair my family.

When I pull into the garage parking lot, my brother is about to ride off to handle business. He comes over and asks me to keep our mom busy today and away from Wendy. I comply and he just smiles. I walk to moms office and can hear her yelling on the phone so I decide to walk through the garage into the clubhouse to see what dads up to. He's at the bar, talking finance with Bobby. I sit beside him. Out the corner of my eye I see Juan Carlos, he's gathering alcohol bottles and organizing them for a party the clubs having tonight. He's always been very OCD while I was the opposite. He is visibly ignoring me. It's cute, he's never been able to be anything other than sweet. My dad asks "You sticking around to hang out tonight Princess." "Sure. I have to go look at apartments today but I'll come back. I have to see what mom wants first." He chuckles "Take your mom to look at apartments. We don't even want you to move out, you just got back hom." My face turns red with irritation and embarrassment "What are you and Jackson up to?" He sighs, "We just need to keep her busy today" I roll my eyes and hop off the bar stool. "Love you old man." I kiss his cheek and nudge Bobby in the shoulder. I look over the bar and stare at the back of JC's head, "Bye Juan Carlos". He stops and slightly turns my way, "Later". This infuriated me, so I walk off. I can hear my dad and Bobby both laugh. "Oh yeah you're doing a great job ignoring her Juicy" my dad doesn't know how to whisper quietly.

After spending all day with Gemma, who was unimpressed with every apartment or condo we looked at, I was ready for a beer or ten. The best part of the day was visiting with Abel. She was semi agreeable when speaking about my future plans and investments here, she didn't seem to think I was ready to own a business. We get home to change, mom decides she's going to drive herself because she needs to go to the market for booze and food. I open my suitcases to find an outfit. I really don't want to dress up but something in me wants to look cute for JC. I pick out some very short black shorts with white lace trim, a white spaghetti strap tank top, a red one to go on top of the first one and black converses. I put on a bright shade of red lipstick, darken my eyeliner and twist my hair into a bun. I grab the bracelet and clasp it on my wrist. I open my closet, find a hoodie and toss it in my car. I'm ready I think to myself. I pull out my phone and text Kamri, "I miss you. Didn't find an apartment today. ):" She texts back, "Miss you too. That sucks, better luck soon. What are you doing tonight?" "Clubs having a party, told daddy I'd go. Juan Carlos is going to be there." She knew all about Juan Carlos, I told her everything. "Oh hell, Stay out of trouble lol!" "Lol I'll try ;)" I really did plan on having no trouble.

It feels great to drive my car. I take the long way through town. Nothing's changed. It's still quite and small. I blare "Prayer" by Disturbed as I speed pass Uncle Wayne and his deputy Hale. Blue lights. Already! Already I'm in trouble!?!? They walk up, I pull out my registration and insurance, which my dad has kept up to date. "Lexus, you're already causing trouble." He laughs. I flash my big smile, "Hey Uncle Wayne!" His deputy is not amused by my speed or Unser's banter. "Hi I'm Lex Marrow." "Charmed. You can't drive like that Miss Marrow." "Yeah I'm sorry, I kind of forgot where I was." Uncle Wayne tells me to be careful and go. Hale seems vexed and firmly tells me "If you speed through my town again I'll impound your car, don't care if you're a Marrow!" I had forgotten how shitty people acted towards my family in this town "Ok, I'm sorry but that was kinda harsh." Uncle Wayne shoots him a look, "Get where you're going Lexus. Take it slow." "Thank you." I roll my eyes at Hale, roll up my window and drive off. When I pull up to the garage I'm still fuming I didn't realize I slammed my car door. "You ok?" Mom asks. "No that deputy is a dick! Didn't get a ticket though. So I guess I'm fine." "Already speeding I see." I sigh, "I wasn't trying to!"

I walk towards the clubhouse. Everyone in hanging out around the picnic tables and burn barrels. Chibbs, Daddy and JC near the bikes. Caitlyn is as close to him as she can be without being told to move. They seems to be in a serious talk. I walk over to Opie and Piney. Op wraps his arm around me, "What's wrong little sister?" "Oh you know nothing a few beers won't fix." He looks down at me and laughs "I totally forgot you were old enough to drink!" I flip him off and walk inside to find a beer. I walk in the clubhouse and get a beer from Half Sack. "Thanks Kip". Tig is trying to romance two ladies at once. I think to myself some things never change. Someone taps my shoulder. I turn around and Caitlyn is there. "Can I talk to you?" This is awkward. "Sure...I guess." She swallows her beer hard. "Look I like Juice a lot. I want to be with him. You need to stay away from him. He is confused...confused because you are home. I had a hard time competing with the ghost of you, it's even harder now that you're here. If you don't stay away there will be consequences!" This was a weird conversation. It made me laugh out loud. I breathe in "Look! It's going to be hard to stay away from him, my parents own this garage, he works here and he's in the club. In which my brother is VP and my dad is President. However I'm not here to pursue him. Good luck." With that I walk back outside.

I spent most the night getting reacquainted with old friends and other members of other charters. I kept drinking, trying to keep up with my brother and Op. The more I drink the more irritated I become that JC is staying away from me. I guess it was the irrational drunk thought process. I go sit in my car. I remove my top tank top and darken my lipstick. I pull my hair out of the bun. This is better I tell myself, this it cute. I walk back to the party, I find my old high school friends. Most of which are trying to find a club member to spend the night with. My childhood best friend Tori and I decide that more liquor is needed. I've missed her, he looks and acts the same as we did in high school. Her natural hair is always gorgeous and now she bartends. She never got out of here like we talked about. She stayed for a guy who knocked her up and left her at 21. We walk to the bar. Half Sack is making drinks, trying to keep pace. "Lexus you're looking really lovely." "Thank you Kip, can I have a jack and coke? And a shot of Jack." I pinch his cheek. We hang out at the bar. Before long everyone comes inside. There's music, my mom is making subs always the helpful hostess, my dad is trying to look cool. My brother is off talking to a girl somewhere. Tori asks "What happened with you and Juice?" I'm not expecting this, I shoot back another shot of Jack. "I left him here, I don't know what else I can say about it." She blushes a little "You don't think there's a future for you guys? He spent so long not moving on." I wince "Look over there, see that, that is his "female friend" "his pornstar" so I guess not." Caitlyn is really close to JC who is bantering back and forth with Happy and Tig. Tori and I look at one another, she says you know she was in his grade when we were in high school. Ugly duckling syndrome. We take another shot of Jack and precede to giggle our asses off. All the while I can't help but look over at him. We walk over to stand with Happy and Tig, not trying to let on that I really wanted to just be close to JC. Tiggy and I talk about his girls Fawn and Dawn. Happy tells me his moms not doing so well. I carry on the conversations still drinking. Still trying to hide my bleeding heart. I tuck my hair behind my ear, I didn't realize that JC was looking in my direction. He sees his bracelet, he grits his teeth breathes in deeply. Caitlyn didn't even notice. It hits me like a ton of bricks, what am I doing. This isn't why I'm here, I'm not here for this. I quickly turn and bolt out the door towards my car. My dad watches me, he looks toward JC and nods when he starts to follow me, grabs my mom by the hand when she tried to follow too. "Let them hash it out my love" mom sighs heavily.

I walk fast as I can. I'm dizzy, my heart is heavy and anxiety is creeping into every crevice of my body. JC catches up to me, he grabs my shoulder and I jerk away. I keep walking, he grabs my hand which I also snatch away. "Please don't!" "Don't what Lexus? Don't stop you from driving drunk? I need your keys please!" He snatches the keys out of my hand and puts them in his pocket. All I can really do is look at him. "Don't you have someone waiting on you in there? Clearly she's more that just a girl you hang out with?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. He stares at me, I can see he wants to touch me. Weather it's to hold me or shake me until I come to my senses I don't know. "I didn't lie to you, she is just a friend." "A friend that wants to be with you!" He comes very close to me, his beautiful brown eyes are floods of soft spoken emotion. He reaches to touch my face, I turn my head. "I hurt you Juan, I broke your heart. I can't stand myself for that. You need to be happy, she likes you a lot. Give her a chance." He pulls me tightly to him and kisses me softly on the mouth. I don't resist, I can't. I can feel the tears coming. I pull away. He turns to walk inside. "Forever Lexi!" I get into my car and slam the door. By this time I can't stop myself from sobbing. I rest my head on the steering wheel and passed out.

When I wake up it's almost four am. I go inside for something nonalcoholic to drink. I raid the kitchen for food. My mom left subs plated in then fridge. I grab one and a sprite and I walk to the bar, Half Sack was cleaning things up. Tori was sitting at the bar. She really liked Kip. "You ok sweets? Looks like you've been crying." "I'm fine, just the past catching up with me" She smiles "Need a ride home? You're parents already left but said you have keys." I roll my eyes and sigh "Nope Juan Carlos has my keys! I don't want to wake them up. I'll just sleep in my car or in Jax's dorm." Tig says "Sleep in mine baby. Your mom cleans them all the time." "Thanks Uncle Tiggy. Guess I'm sleeping here." I crawl in Tig's bed. I lay there for what seems like hours before I drift off. How did I even up feeling like this? At 7:30 there's a light knock on the door. I groan, "Tiggy Its too early to be up. I'll clean up in here when I get up. Love you bye!" I hear a chuckle, "Never been accused of being Tig." I sit straight up. "I forgot I had your keys. Sack said you were in here." I quickly try to wipe under my eyes and rake my hair to one side. "Yeah thanks. I didn't really want to drive anyway. Hale already has it out for me." He frowns, "well you do speed". He hands over the keys. "I think he just doesn't like me but ok. I didn't speed that much." He stares a moment longer, "Go back to sleep Lexus." I look at him as if to beg him not to go. He smiles his nervous smile and turns to leave. "Goodnight Juan Carlos." He stops for a second, walks towards the door "Night Lexi, I'll be here." I heard the door across the hall open and close. When I wake up back up it's 11:45 I can't wait to get home and shower. I make Tiggys bed and walk out to the bar, barefoot. Half Sack is already cleaning. "Fuck, don't you ever sleep?" He laughs "Not really". "Ok I'm going home. I'm pretty sure ill be back today." I look around, I find Caitlyn and Tori asleep on two chairs. I make sure to slam the door on my way out.

I toss my shoes in the passenger seat and pull on my hoodie. I pull out into the street and only get a block away from the garage when I see blue lights. "Shit!" "Ms Marrow, do you know why I pulled you over?" I shake my head "I don't". "Failure to signal pulling out of Teller Marrow. Failure to yeild." I grip the steering wheel tight because I know he's right. He just seems to be sticking it to me. "I wasn't aware. I'm sorry." "I'm going to have to ticket you." Just then my dad, Bobby, Chibbs and Juice ride by. All make a u-turn. "Hale, can I help you? Do you have nothing more to do than harass my kid?" Daddy to the rescue. "I warned her yesterday Clay. We can't have this wreckless driving through town." "What'd she do? Hit a line of little old ladies?" Chibbs asked. "Nope. Failure to yeild, failure to signal." I just stare blankly at my windshield. More embarrassed than anything. I'm not 16 anymore. My face reddens and grip tighter on the wheel. At this point everyone is standing by drivers side. Except JC and Tig, they are leaning on my car. JC looks through the windshield at my embarrassed face. We make eye contact. I feel tears welling inside. I ask Hale "Can I just get my ticket and go?" He just glares at me like I caused this drama. Then the tears really do fall. This seems to effect JC. He slams his hand on the hood of the car and angrily yells at Hale "Goddamn it David If your going to give her the damn ticket. Do it! Everyone here has better things to do!" Daddy and Chibbs laugh out loud. He hastily shoves the ticket at my dad. Tig walks up close behind Hale and whispers "Don't bother my girl!" My dad tells me to go home and rest, he wasn't even mad about the ticket. Everyone bid me goodbye, everyone except JC. He lingered behind. He looks in my window and tell me to "Be careful. Please?" Those brown eyes melt me. I shake my head yeah and start the car. "Thank you Juice!" I nervously smile up at him and he smirks back at me.

When I make it home, Mom and Jackson are making plans for Abel. I take the hottest shower ever. I lay on my bed, wet hair and all. Mom knocks on my door. "Hey baby, I was thinking. We should fix up your room. You know until you find an apartment!" "Sure momma." "Can we talk for a minute, about you and Juice?" I blush. "I don't know what's going on Mom. He should hate me, I would hate me." "Oh baby. He loves you, he always has. I don't think that will ever change." I nod my head. It choked me up coming from someone else. "Hurry up and get ready. We'll get something's for your room while we're getting things for Abel's nursery." Shopping sounds fun right now. We go to all sorts of home decor places. I pick out an amazingly soft bright purple comforter and matching curtains and rug, a tall vanity and mirror. While we are looking at pillows I think of my sleeping last night in the clubhouse. "Mom we should get pillows for the dorms. Those things suck." She smiles, "you're right baby." We pull up to the garage and walk in with bags of pillows, throw blankets and groceries. Mom puts the groceries away and I unbag the pillows.

I take new pillows and blankets to each room. I get to JC's room and get nervous. I open the door but he's not in there. I take the pillows on his bed off and lay the new ones on. He comes out the bathroom. "Jesus Christ Juan, you scared the shit out of me!" "I'm sorry" he sits on the edge of his bed. He asks me to sit beside him. Nervously I sit beside him. "Are you ok? You know from Hale this morning?" "Yes. Thank you for helping with that. That was embarrassing." He nudged me "Just like old times." We both laugh. "I know Caitlyn talked to you yesterday. I need you to know that I talked to her about it. I don't love her Lexi. I never did. I have been trying to ignore you but it's impossible still. Just like trying to forget you for the last for years. You were my first love and I think you'll be my last. Weather you stay or not, my heart stays with you." I can't breathe, the words are stuck in my throat. I lay my head on his shoulder. "What do we do now?" He shrugs "One day at a time babydoll." This answer swelled my heart. We lay back onto his new pillows and hold hands. This feels like home. There's it's a knock at the door, it Half Sack, closely followed by Caitlyn. "Really?" JC says to Kip. Caitlyn is furious. "Seriously? I asked you to back the fuck off!" My mom comes in to find out what the ruckus is. "Lexus lets give them some time to talk." I walk by her, she grabs my arm. "Why couldn't you just let him go?" This makes me angry. I slap her hand off my arm "Do not touch me! He doesn't want to be with you. It's not his fault. But I suggest you move along. And if you ever touch me again, I'll kill you!" Mom walks me to the bar. The door slams behind me.

I get a few shots of Jack. I knew as soon as I got back to Charming I'd make enemies. Now there's a chick that's mad at me because I've always been love with JC and there's deputy Hale. I have no idea why he hates me. I'm on my third shot, waiting to see where my life is headed when the door to JCs swings open. Caitlyn walks out and go straight up to the pornstar Ima. She ignores me but they both leave. I drink another shot and I feel arms around my waist. Juan Carlos pulls me close to him, he rests his chin on my shoulder. I hand him a shot. He drinks it and leads me to his room and shuts the door.


	2. Drama

Things were going so smoothly. Two months had passed and things were perfect between Juan Carlos and I. We spent all the time we could together. His kisses were what I craved all day and night. Needless to say that this caused us to spend more time in his room than we should have. I loved how his kisses started at my neck and ended between my thighs. We couldn't get enough of one another. At this point in our relationship I couldn't keep my hands off him and he couldn't keep his lips off me. "Juan Carlos, I have to go! Stttoooooppppp!" He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Stay the night Lex" "Babe I have so much to do tomorrow. I need to get some sleep and shower!" He looks at me so adorably "I hope you get this business loan babe. I know you want it bad!" I kiss him one last time "You only say that because you want me to bake you cakes! See ya tomorrow!" He looks so sad, "Text me if you miss me!" I head out the door. When I reach the bar on my way out, Caitlyn and Ima are flirting with my brother. I make a disgusted face at him. He smiles and waves bye. I really didn't like Caitlyn. Every time I even thought her name, jealously encased me.

In my car driving home and my phone goes off. "I love you Lexi. Text me when you get home. *" "I will baby. Luv you too" The drive home was pleasant. Hale hadn't bothered me since the day he pulled me over. When I get home, mom was feeding her birds. "You're home early." "Big day tomorrow mama! I'm excited!" She kisses my cheek and tells me goodnight. I shoot JC a text "Night lover. See you tomorrow (:" He immediately texts back "Night Lexi, see you soon!" I toss and turn all night, clearly because there is no JC beside me. I pull out my phone "Are you awake?" "Yes baby" "What are you doing?" "Club stuff. You ok?" Things with the club were heating up pretty hot with the Irish. I knew he was busy. "Mhm, just missed you and couldn't sleep." "I miss you too baby, gotta do this club business. I love you." "I love you too Juan Carlos". I drift off, hoping I'm not late to the bank in the morning. Around 5:30 I hear a bike and that means daddy's home. I was awake again. I reach for my phone. "Juan?" "Yes Lexi love?" "Where are you?" "Clubhouse" "Come see me? I can't go back to sleep " "I'm on my way"

I get up and throw on my shorts and a T-shirt. I grab my shoes and try to quickly and quietly sneak through the house. My dad is sitting at the dining room table. "Lexus?!?!" I sigh "Sorry Daddy!" "What the hell you doing up this early?" I could only smile. "I couldn't sleep. So I texted Juan Carlos." "I swear you'd think you two were kids again!" He chuckles. "Love you Daddy" I kiss his head and head out the back door. I sit on the back steps and put on my shoes. JC pulls up and I'm sure it wakes my mom. "I want to show you something." He looks serious. I kiss him on the neck and hop on the back of his bike. I hold on tight. I start to feel my body relax because he is where I feel most at home. We drive to the outer limits of Charming, down a little dirt road into an open area of nice modern houses. He parks and we get off the bike. We walk up to a gorgeous white two story house. It's simple. The white fence around it gives it a homey touch. "This babydoll, this is home!" "Juan Carlos did you buy this house?!?!?!?" He smiles and takes my hand "Not yet, I wanted you to see it first." "Can we go inside?" He gets the key out of the mailbox and we go in. "I was thinking, it's not Charming but it's close to it. You could go see Abel whenever you want or your mom. It wouldn't be too far to drive to your bakery. I know you'll get that loan. This could be our future." I just stare at him. "Juan, are you asking me to live with you?" His lovely brown Puerto Rican skin blushes a deep red. He pulls a small white box out of his hoodie. "Lexus I want you to be with me. We're practically together everyday anyway. This is the next step for us, eventually when the time is right I'm going to ask you to marry me." He opened up the little box and there was a little silver house charm for my bracelet. I had the biggest smile. I pulled him close and kissed him. "Of course I will, I couldn't imagine not marrying you some day!" "Or having my babies!" "Ok dude let's slow it down!" We both laugh and he throws me over his shoulder and carries me upstairs. "Come on Mrs Ortiz. Let's look at our house!" When he drives me home my whole world seems complete. "I love you Juan Carlos. Forever!" "I love you too baby. I will see you later!" He kisses me goodbye. I kiss him multiple times on his neck. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

I was so nervous sitting in front of the banker. "Ms Marrow have you any experience in bakeries?" "Yes sir I have. I ran one in Texas for 2 years. Please don't let my last name deter you. This will be a very prosperous addition to the community and it'll also give a few jobs." He stares at me long and hard. "Thank you ma'am. You've proven to be knowledgeable and well meaning. We will have an answer for you in a few days." "Yes sir, thank you for your time." I walk out of there feeling like a million bucks. I text mom, Kamri, Tori and JC "I think I got it". My mom was excited, "come by the garage and tell me about it." Kamri says she's coming to work for me. Tori says the same. I playfully tell them both come on then. And there's nothing from JC, they were busy I'm sure. When I get to the garage none of the bikes are there, only Lowell is in the shop. My mom is swamped with paperwork so I tell her I'm going to nap in JC's dorm. I go in his room and there an envelope on his bed. It's labeled from Caitlyn. My heart drops. I don't want to be nosy but I have to find out. I open the letter which had previously been opened. There are two pieces of paper. Porn princess is probably pouring her heart out. "Dear Juice. It's confirmed. I'm 8weeks and 3days." My whole body freezes. My mouth goes dry and my insides become cold. We've been back together for about 8 weeks. I look at the next page. Pregnancy test confirmed. Caitlyn Johnson positive. Everything in my mind went blank. Every part of me ached. Especially when I put it together. Juan Carlos is the father. I sat there for what seemed like hours, it was only minutes. I snapped back into time when I heard the bikes roar in. My phone sounds off "Are you here? Your car is here!" I did not text back. The door opens, it's JC. His face is frozen in pure terror. I could not speak.

"When did you get this?" Every word burns in my mouth. "Today!" He was at a loss for words as well. "Did you know before?" "No." Something in me snaps and I jump up from his bed and slam the paper down on his dresser. "Now What Juan?" He sinks into himself. He shakes his head. I can see the tears welling inside his glorious brown eyes. I'm infuriated and I know I need to talk calmly but I can't stop myself. I want to scream and yell and release all this rage. At this point I'm choking back tears, "Have you seen her?" "Only today, every other time she's been here with someone else" he whispers. I look at him and know what comes next. Juan Carlos grew up without a father. He wouldn't let his child grow up that way. He would have to co parent with Caitlyn. If not do the right then and marry her. I feel my heart break in my chest. I'm so angry that it spills into everything I say next. "What about our future?" I'm screaming now. He just looks at the floor. I shove everything off his dresser and I slams the door behind me. My mom meets me in the hall "What the hell is going on?" I storm past her and out the clubhouse. I can not control how upset I am, I can not control how angry I am. I speed out the parking lot. I don't know where I'm going. JC and my mom are constantly calling and texting me so I turn my phone off. I drive and drive around Charming, I end up at the hospital. Maybe seeing Abel will make me smile.

He's so fragile and small. He's a fighter and I already love him immensely. I can't hold him but I can hold his hand. I pull the the rocking chair across the room and slide my hand into the slot. It's quite in here so I can think. How could this happen to us. We finally were happy. As I'm holding my tiny nephews hand, the tears flow as hot as lava. What now? Is he going to try to make it work with Caitlyn? I know Juan, I know that he would do anything for his children to not have a broken home. He was a good man. I close my eyes. I'm startled by the door sliding open. "Lex!!!!" It was my brother, "Mom and Juice are looking for you! What the fuck is going on?" "His pornstar is knocked up!" I choked out. My brothers face changes, "Did you talk to him?" "No, I can't right now. I can't think straight!" "Are you ok?" "I don't know. I'm going to go for a drive to clear my head. If mom or Juan Carlos ask you if you've seen me please say no. Tell daddy not to worry. Please Jax I need some time!" I nudge my brothers shoulder, he grabs my wrist. "Be careful kiddo. Call the prepay if you need me." I nod and walk out.

I drive in circles around San Joaquin county. If I'm moving they can't find me. I pick up Tori from the bar she worked at. I tell her I need her and it's urgent. We leave my car there and take hers. We get beer and continue to drive around. We finally park near the woods by an old storage unit the club used to use. Ive only been gone 4 hours. "Dude talk to me!" Tori is overly anxious, she doesn't know what is happening. "Caitlyn is pregnant!" She stares at me waiting for more. Clearly she wasn't following. "I mean...did you want to be pregnant first? Lemme tell you, it ain't fun! What's going on there..." she trails off and it hits her. "Oh fuck!" I nod as I don't have much to say. My eyes are swollen from crying and my body aches from being so tense. She rubs my back. We sit in silence on the hood of her car and continue to drink our beer. I continue to cry. My knees are drawn up to my chest, I rest my head on them. That's when I hear the bikes. "Fuck! I can't get away." Without picking my head up I sigh.

My dad and Bobby come over to us. Op and Sack wait by the bikes. "What are ya doing babygirl?" Daddy looks upset. Angry even. "Did Jackson not tell you I was ok?" "Have you not met your mother?" I roll my eyes. As soon as I did I hear her pull up followed by two more bikes. Definitely Jax and JC. "Great, lets make this a family function." I huff. I toss the beer down and get off the hood. "Lexus Leann you scared the shit out of me! I had no idea where you were or what happened!!!" I laugh, "You're aware I'm 23 right?" "I don't care if you're 50. Get in the goddamn car." I glance over at my dad and brother. Jackson walks over "Mom, she's fine...look! I told you she's a grown up." She stares at the both of us. She huffs and yells for my dad. "Please get your daughter home!" He kisses her on the forehead. "Even when you're mad you're beautiful!" She snorted and walked off from us. I heard her slam her car door and Tiggy saying "Come on Mama calm down, she's ok!" I sit down in the grass. "Was all this necessary? I mean I'm not a kid. I wasn't even gone that long!" Jackson rolls his eyes, "Our mother is nuts!" "I'm aware!" Daddy tells me she'll be ok in a few days. "I don't think I'll ever be ok again!" I say buzzed and upset still. Now embarrassed. Tori is talking to Half Sack who is most likely going to drive her car home. I look over at the rest of the club standing beside the storage unit. JC is anxiously standing beside Chibbs. Staring. I stare back. This does nothing for my mood. I need to get away from his gaze. "Lex, you better never do that again! I lost you once and I can't go through that again" my dad looked so small saying this. "I'm sorry Daddy. I didn't know what to do. I still don't." He pulls me off the ground, hugs me. "Lets get out of here."

Tori and I are in the back seat of her car. Half Sack and Piney are driving us safely back. "I'm sorry" I whisper to her, patting her hand. "Hey I'm not even upset, Kip is driving my car!" We giggle. We drop her off back at work and Piney gets on his trike. I have to let Half Sack drive my car. I'm not pleased but I can't drive in my state of being. "Are you ok?" he asks. "Nope not at all. I'd rather not talk about it right now either Kip. I'm sorry!" "I understand" He looks straight ahead. I turn on the radio up and close my eyes. When I open them again my car is parked behind my moms Cadillac. "Great. Let me take this tongue lashing" I say out loud, to basically no one. I walk in the back door, she is at the table. "Take a shower, you'll feel better!" I shower and come back out to the kitchen, she's made me coffee and a sandwich. "Eat!" I look at her as I nibble on the sandwich. "I'm sorry mom, I had to get away!" She looks at her coffee. "Lexus no matter what happens, leaving your family and disappearing is never the answer." I nod, I really don't have a reply. "So Juice got the porn princess knocked up?" I nod, anxiety over takes me again. "Oh babygirl, life is never fair. Never. But it's on you how the story goes! But I have faith that you, Lexi will find a way to write an amazing story. Now weather that story includes you and Juice I don't know." I know she's right. "Love you mom. Again I'm sorry" I kiss her cheek and walk to my room to sleep. I twirl the bracelet on my wrist. I take it off and lay it on my dresser. What do I do now?

When I wake up I got to my car to retrieve my phone. I turn it back on, 67 messages from my crazy, worried mother. I roll my eyes. 91 from JC. "Don't leave!" "Come back!" "Where the fuck are you?" "Turn your phone back on!!!" "Goddamnit Lexus answer your phone!" "I love you Lexus Marrow!" Exhausted emotionally I rub my hands against my face. I grab the bracelet, the old love letters and notebook and drive to the garage. It's now 11:45 pm. Mom is parked by the office, probably doing the work she couldn't do while hunting me down earlier. I sit there for a while trying to place my words. I walk in the clubhouse. Of course Ima and Caitlyn are here. I walk right past both of them. I look at my dad and he nods towards JC's room. I knock on the door. No answer. I walk in anyway. He's in the shower. I look around this small room, this room that's held all these amazing memories. I lay the book and letters on his bed. I sit on the floor beside his bed and flip through the pictures we've snapped recently and the past ones. Why was life so fucked up? He walks out. Clad only in his towel and still wet. It took everything I had not to throw myself at him. He brings out some type of animal attraction in me, some carnal need for him. "You came back?" the question was loud and demanding. It broke me, I was swarmed with anxiety and panic. "We need to talk." I watch him walk to the other side of the room. I lower my head and look at my hands while he gets dressed.

We sit on the bed. I hand him the notebook...the history of our youth. The letters of which we poured our hearts out. "Juan Carlos this is where we began." He looks at me, his beautiful eyes breaking my heart the more he stared. He held them tightly beside him, still looking at me "Lex I haven't slept with her since you've been home." "I know. This has nothing to do with you sleeping with anyone else. We're together constantly. This is about my inability to deal with you and Caitlyn having a baby. These letters and this notebook are our life. Well where our life was supposed to go. We were kids Juan, and dumb enough to think any of this would come true." "What do you mean Lex?" "I'm not sure how to handle you having a kid with her. I don't know if we can go forward from here." He grabs my hand, and notices that his bracelet wasn't there. He looks scared, fear seeped through his eyes. He puts my hand over his heart. "I don't know how many times I'll have to say it but I'll do it until the day I die. This is yours. Everything in me is yours." I kiss his mouth. "Just give me some time baby. This is a lot to handle. This is heavy and we weren't ready." I know he's out of sorts as well, I'm being selfish. Our lives will never be the same and I don't know what to do. I get the bracelet out of my pocket and lay it in his hand. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me deeply. "I love you Juan Carlos." I stash the letters and notebook in his dresser. I kiss his cheek, his neck, his collarbone, like I may never do it again. He grabs my waist to hold me but I have pull away. I whisper "Forever" in his ear and leave the dorm. Back in the clubhouse I find my brother and tell him to make sure JC stays busy the next couple of days. I need to get myself together. He ruffles my hair and shakes his head.

As I'm leaving Caitlyn walks out behind me. "Lexus!!!!!" I'm angry but I turn around "What?" "I'm pregnant, it's Juices!" "Yeah, I know!" She looks at me like I'm a demon. "I told you there would be consequences!" I laughed "Ok!" "Leave Juice alone now. We're going to have a family!" "Alright." It's taking all I have not to scream or hit her. I keep walking. Thankfully Op walks up beside me and we walk arms on each other's shoulders although he's taller than me all the way to my car. "It's going to be alright little Sis. Things always get better...or you die!!!" "Well thanks all great and mighty poet Op" I laugh. Behind that laugh there's so much pain I'm stuck on auto pilot. I drive out of Teller Marrow, I end up driving around again. I drive to the house JC showed me the other morning. I can't help but thinking this will never be our home. We will never make it. I then drive back into Charming, into town. I park in front of the glass front store I want to put my bakery in. I get out my car and sit on the hood, staring towards it but off into space. Hale pulls up beside me. "What are you doing out here Ms Marrow?" "I'm trying to layout my perfect robbery!" He didn't laugh. "I'm going to try to buy this store. Turn it into a bakery." He doesn't say much, "That'd be a nice edition to Charming." "I'm hoping so." He nods and drives off. My phone goes off "My heart is always yours it always will be. I'll be here when you're ready for me. I love you Lexus!" I do not answer back. Why is this so hard, my life is a fucking soap opera.

That following Monday the bank called me and needed me to come in as soon as I could get there. Oh damnit this is it, I think to myself. I sit down with the banker and he says he has good news. "Ms Marrow we're very excited for expansion in Charming. After phone calls, checking out references and a great referral from our Chief Unser, we believe that you will be a great asset here. You're approved!" I nearly scream "Thank you sir! You won't be disappointed!" I get in my car and text my mom, Kamri and Tori "I GOT IT!!!!" "Yes baby! Let's have a dinner tomorrow to celebrate!" my mom texts back. "Ok let me finalize this stuff and I'll be there!" I tried not to even think about texting JC. I missed him so much. I missed his smell, his lips, his smile. I wanted him. Every part of me ached for him. The rest of the day was a blur. It was exhausting but it was worth it. This was my dream. My dream that I was achieving on my own. My dream and I couldn't even tell my JC. I showed up at the garage at 7:30. I found my dad at once "Daddy, I'm a business owner!!!" He spun me around "Great job babygirl!" "I think Tori and I are going to celebrate tonight. I'll break the news to mom!" "Have fun with that" He laughs. "Moooommmmmmmmm! Just letting you know, Tori and I are going to celebrate tonight." "Yeah ok, take Half Sack. He can drive you if you get too drunk!" "Fine!" I'm really not a kid I think to myself but I'm in no mood to argue.

I pick Tori up at 8 and we hit the first bar in Charming, followed by Half Sack. Lots of old creepy guys frequented this place. I think to myself Tiggy would be at home here. We weren't really bothered but it wasn't a place for young single girls. So we ride out to bar almost in Stockton, called Crown, more our scene. Young people, cute boys. No one as attractive as my Juan Carlos. I start to feel that familiar heaviness sitting on my chest. I've not texted him back or seen him in 5 days. I have to walk to the bathroom. I can't breathe. My heart is beating rapidly. I write a text to him "I'm sorry, I love you, please come get me!" I didn't send it, I deleted it. I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. What's wrong with you? Why can't you just be normal? I shake my head and walk out to hang out with Tori. She's surrounded by guys, she's always been the girl all the guys liked. Half Sack isn't anywhere I can lay eyes on. That's not right. I walk in between them and squeeze in beside her. She looks happy. "Where's Sack?" "Clearly too busy on his phone to pay me any attention!" I laugh to myself, she's jealous. I take another shot. Curious about where Kip had gone I'm scoping out the bar. I still don't see him. Something's not right. He's scared enough of my mom that he'd never let me out of his sight, not to mention what my dad would do to him.

I walk away from the bar, out the front door, I'm followed by Tori. His bike was beside my car. Where was he? Suddenly there was a van in front of me. I think this is bad. I felt a sharp pain in my back and a scream that I'm certain was Tori. I was prepared for this, my dad had always told me if were to get kidnapped it was probably a club thing, to leave as much evidence as possible and if I was left with my phone to get messages to him as soon as I could. The inside of the van was dark, I could make out Kip directly across from me and Tori very close behind me. "Kip are you ok? Tori?" They both are ok. I'm certain I was tased. "What the fuck happened?" "I don't, I don't know...I was calling Juice, he wanted me to check in and now we're here." "Listen to me, did you see anyone? Hear familiar voices?" "No." "Tori? What about you?" She's crying uncontrollably. "Tori!!! We're going to be fine, I need you to calm down!" That doesn't help. "Those guys, the ones that were buying me drinks...I think they got us." she chokes out. I groan, my back is on fire. My phone is in my pocket. I scramble to get to it. I make sure no one can see me. The screen was shattered but I still text Jackson. "HELP SOMEONE TOOK US ME TORI AND SACK WE WERE AT CROWN I DONT KNOW WHO THEY ARE" I quickly turn it back off and shove it back in my pocket. The van door opens again and two men come in. We are moving now. "Who are you!?!?" Tori is screaming, still crying. I grab her hand. "Which one of you are Lexus Marrow?" His voice is cold and articulate. Deep in tone and pretty sure he is Irish. "I...I am" I sit up. He hits me on the left side of my face with what seems like all his might. I fall backwards and everything went black.

When I come to again, we are no longer moving. We aren't even in the van anymore. We are on a cement floor. My ankles are tied together and my wrists are too, except they're connected to Tori, I think it's Tori. We are placed back to back. It's slightly dark but I can make out Kip beside me so it has to be Tori tied to me. My face hurts and I know it is swollen. "Hhheeyyy, you guys ok?" I can hear Tori crying. Kip speaks up first. "I don't know where we are? Some sort of warehouse..." Tori cries louder. I try to stroke her hand but am only able to barely touch it. "It's ok Tori don't panic, my daddy is coming. My brother is coming. Juice is coming." This only made her cry harder. "No one knows where we are! No one is coming!" She's panicking and I can't blame her. The door opens. The voice that hit me earlier speaks again. "Your father has been contacted. Cooperate and you won't be harmed!" Tori starts screaming for help. "No one can hear you girl!" Kip tries to soothe her. They slam the door behind them. "See Tori, I told you my Daddy is coming! Calm down please so they don't come back!" This still doesn't calm her. She screams louder. The voice opens the door opens the door again. "Shut her up!" "I...I can't get to her." He stands there for a few minutes before he drags her in front of me, ripping the ties that connect her and I with his pocket knife. She's freaking out again and he kicks her hard in the stomach. She pees herself. She was terrified. I was too but I knew that both of us losing it wouldn't help. She scoots close to me so her head is in my lap. Kip is yelling at this point. "If you touch her again I'll kill you!!!" The voice is gone. He probably didn't hear him anyway. My body starts to feel stiff and sore. I try to shift but I'm caught under the weight of Tori. She hasn't moved since he dragged her near me. The door opens again. "If we don't hear from your father soon, one of you dies!" I automatically feel sick. Tori lifts her head. She exhales hard and starts to laugh. "I was right! No one cares! No one is coming!" Her laugh is borderline catatonic. He slams the big door again.

Everything becomes a loud rushing sound in my head now. I close my eyes to get a grip on myself but my eyes fill with quiet tears. Kip speaks up "Clay won't let that happen. He just wouldn't!" I sigh and agree. "Yeah he wouldn't!" I am stiff and sore all over, dehydrated I'm sure. There are gunshots and then beating on the door. Tori starts to scream. Kip moves so that he's in front of us, his body is slender but I appreciate then sentiment. The door is being shot at now so I'm trying to cover Tori's head and face with my upper body as best I can. She has a kid, she has to get home. The door is open now and there are screams and gunshots inside. There's a sharp, stinging pain in my leg. And another one. I pull my legs close to my stomach still covering Tori with my top half as well as I possibly can. I yell for Kip. I don't remember what I said. The pain in my leg is almost unbearable now and I can feel myself falling asleep. I close my eyes for just a second and see Juan Carlos. Fuck I missed him. The last memories he was going to have of me were of me being a bitch. This hurt more than my leg. I couldn't even feel my leg anymore but I felt light. Some one is moving me away from Tori, away from Kip. I can't open my eyes, I can't speak. I'm in someone's arms now. These arms are familiar. These arms are safe. I can hear my Daddy. "You're safe now babygirl!" Is this real I think to myself? There's a kiss on my cheek and one my lips. "I got you baby. I got you!" Was that Juan Carlos? What? Everything was black again. Maybe I'm dead.

I'm try to force my eyes open. It hurts, my whole body hurts. It's bright in here. I'm in a hospital room. I try to sit up. This is painful. I try to look around. My mom is asleep in the chair on my left side. I quietly try to get out the bed. My leg shot searing pain up my body. I uncover myself to see its bandaged pretty tight. I gasps. Did I get shot? Owww! Yeah I did. Realization of the last 48 hours caused me to hyperventilate. My mom was up like lightning, rubbing my back and kissing my face all over. She's practically screaming "She's awake! She's awake!" My doorway floods with the club. "Hhhhows's Kip?" Fuck it even hurt to speak. "He's fine baby, just rest!" "What about Tori?" "She's fine too!" I lay back. There's a female doctor near me, I know her. Is that Tara? I thought she'd never come back to this hellhole. "You're in the hospital. Do you know who you are?" she asks sweetly. My mom rolls her eyes. "Lex...Lexus Marrow. Tara?" She smiles and nods. I wince back, it was supposed to be a smile. The pain is immense. "We're going to keep you a few more days. You're leg is going to need some extra care." I look down at it. Everyone is clearing out, Daddy says they have business to handle but Momma will stay. He needed Juice though. I looked at him like he was crazy. He smiled. "He's been here the whole time babygirl! He wouldn't leave you! Your mom had to kick him out this morning and make him go get rest!" My heart fluttered. "That boy never stopped looking for you!" I'm speechless.

Around midnight my mom falls asleep in the chair. I try to sit up and get out of bed. I quietly move near the bathroom. Hobbling and pulling the iv the stealthiest way I can. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror. My face was bruised heavily and I was pretty pale. Could be worse Lex, at least you're not dead I say to myself. I smell Juan. I smell his cologne. My heart floods with anxiety! "You're not supposed to be out of bed." I turn around and I melt. He was in front of me, reaching his hand out. I take it. He helps me back into be. He sits beside me, he held my hand. I tried to force out words but he cupped my face lightly with his hands, kissed my lips and told me not to worry about anything we will talk when I'm well. "I love you Lex. We can talk later!" He turned on the tv and we watch Adult Swim. My mom walks over kisses my forehead and says she's going to get some air and food. "Keep her safe Juice!" "Yes ma'am" When I'm falling asleep his hand is still holding mine. He still loves me. This is all I need. He stayed there all night. I wake at 6:30, there's a nurse taking my vitals. "How are you feeling sweetie?" "Sore but I'm ok." My mom is back in her chair, Juan Carlos is gone. Did I dream him? There's something on my wrist. It's my bracelet. He had been here.

Strengthening my leg was a painful process. I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until I could efficiently walk on crutches. Of course my mom stayed there with me the whole time. It wasn't so bad. Juan Carlos was there often. We hadn't spoken about the drama yet. I knew we would have to. I was dreading it because everything was amazing between us. I hadn't heard from Tori in two weeks. She probably was terrified to be my friend now. On the day I left the hospital Juan Carlos sat with me until my mom drove her Cadillac to the door. Things were a little different, a bit tense. I looked at him and his eyes were heavy with emotion. I inhale deeply, "If you want to talk, we can do it tonight." "Yeah, ok" My mom pulled up and he kissed my cheek after he helped me into her car. "How you holding up baby?" "I'm ok...I need to check on Tori!" Mom drove me to her house, I knock on he door for minutes. She peaked out the curtain and unlocked the door. "Hey Lex, I was going to come see you." "Are you ok? I know this has been crazy!!!" She hangs her head. "I am terrified. Your dad and Kip have had people watching out for us." I hug her, "It's over babe, everything's going to be ok. I promise!" "Lex, they killed one of those guys!!!" I sigh out of experience, this had always been my life. Chaotic and crazy. "Tori, it was us or them and my dad would have never chose them over us." I hug her and leave. I knew that that could have ended badly. I knew I should be as upset as she was.

I hobble in the clubhouse, dragging my crutches. Escorted by my mom. I'm not looking forward to this conversation. I stop by the bar to grab a shot or two. I needed them. I know that Caitlyn is here somewhere, fuck I hated that. The thought of sharing JC pissed me off. This was something I can't shake. I make my way to his dorm and sit on the edge of his bed. I'm only there a short time before he opens his door. He pulls up the plastic outdoor chair and sits directly across from me. I can only stare at him at first, he pulls my bandaged leg up in his lap. "You should keep this up babe!" I continue to look at him. "Juan, we gotta talk." "I know" "I shouldn't have flipped about the baby. I just fucking hate that you're having a kid with her. It burns my insides thinking about it. You're having a baby Juan, a sweet little baby. It's not the babies fault. I love you, I'll always love you and if you chose to be with her and you're baby, I'll hate it but I understand." He laughs out loud. I can't read him. "Babe, why would I ever be with Caitlyn?" I automatically felt embarrassed. "Lexi I have loved you since you were 16. I would never give you up for Caitlyn. Yes she loves me, she knows I don't feel the same for her. I told her I that her and I would coparent the kid but that's where it ends." I heart is fluttering again. "I honestly believed that you would stay with your baby!" "Yeah but not with her!" I jump up and over so that I'm close to him jerking my knee and causing myself to scream. He picks me up and sits me back on his bed. "Don't ever leave me again!" He kisses me as he leans over me. "Ms Ortiz let's keep you safe." We walk back to the clubhouse. "I knew that wouldn't take long!" Opie beams. "Shut up Op" I swat at him with my crutch. It was good to be back home, back with my family and my Juan Carlos.


	3. RingsandThings

I spent long nights and days getting my bakery ready for its opening date. Many hours away from my parents, brother, nephew and JC. I was spent for time and I was exhausted but that didn't stop me from spending my spare time glued to my Juan Carlos. I had to compromise with mom, I had to spend at least 2 nights at home and 2 meals a week with her and dad. JC could come if he like. Sunday's I reserved for hospital time with Abel. It was a busy two months but every second of it was worth it. BABYCAKEZ would be opened in a week. I hired Tori full time and I was waiting on confirmation from Kamri if she would or wouldn't come to Charming and accept the job she brought up months back. She hadn't been communicating with me much since the kidnapping. She was worried about my well being even though I told her that she didn't need to be. I think maybe she was jealous of my friendship with Tori and even more so that I spent most of my time with Juan Carlos. It sucked. I just wanted to get along with anyone.

It was hard to not find jealousy in the relationship that Caitlyn and JC had to maintain. As positive as I tried to be about it, I hated it. I think a bit of that bled into my drive to set up my bakery. When I was mad or anxious or exhausted I could be found in the bakery working my ass off. I was happy at where my life was headed but I was jealous and furious at how things turned out with the love of my life and the pornstar. She deliberately showed up at places she knew we'd be together, she flaunted the fact that she was pregnant by JC to anyone that would listen and she would always find a way to get him alone to talk about her pregnancy. I knew that this was part of co parenting but I'm selfish and instead of being happy for my man I was jealous as all hell because all I ever wanted was him to be mine. This really wasn't fair, the whole situation wasn't fair.

"Babydoll, do you love me?" He asks as he trails kisses from my ear to my collarbone. I giggle, the softness of his lips tickle my bare flesh. "Of course I love you Juan. Forever!" My fingertips make small circle patterns up and down his upper arms. He leans up from my neck so he's looking directly into my eyes. The warm chocolate color of his eyes send shivers throughout my body. "I love you too...forever" He kisses my neck again, he knows how much that gets me. I lift his head back out of my neck and hold his face in my hands. "Juan Carlos, let's stay in this moment forever!" He smiles his goofy smile "If we could be like this forever, I'd never leave this bed!" "I wish we didn't have to go. Kiss me baby!" His lips are on mine in a second. His tongue parting my lips, no real fight from me. I lock my arms around his neck and I plan to never let go. Chibs knocks on the door "Juuuuuuiccccyyyyy!" He opens the door. Luckily Juan is the only one shirtless. "We gotta go! Ohhh Hey Lexi!" "Hey Chibby!" He shuts the door quickly. JC looks at me, eyes full of hope. "Babydoll I was thinking, maybe it's a good time...maybe it's a good time to start talking about living together again!" My heart starts racing. He's getting dressed to leave, I sit up on my knees. "Come here Juan." I wrap my arms around him, kissing his neck and cheek. "There's nothing I want more than to come home to you everyday!" There's that goofy smile again. "So the house?" I kiss his lips, "Yes dork!" He squeezes me like he's never going to hug me again. "I'm so excited!" I smile at him "Good cause you get to tell my parents!" I saunter to the bathroom. "Wait what?" I stick my tongue out. "Bye baby, Chibby is waiting on you!" He smiles all the way out the door.

It's late, almost 3:30 am and I'm sitting at the bar with my mom and Piney. I went home but it was lonely, the bakery was almost finished and I just missed my JC in general. So I ended up here, drinking with my mom and uncle. The boys finally pull up, they file in slowly and exhausted. JC walks over to me, stealing my shot and burying his head in my neck and shoulder. He's bruised and busted up, they all are. "Want to take a shower baby?" He groans a tired yes into my neck and I grab his hand and lead him to his dorm. I turn on the shower, making it hot as he could stand it. We loved all the hot water. He's sitting on the bed, completely exhausted. I help him removed his Kutte and boots, pants next. Shirt and boxers. "Come on baby." I whisper to him. He stands under the hot water, blood and sweat washing down the drain. I remove my clothes and step in behind him. I wash his back, making sure to get his arms and neck. "Turn around babe." I was his chest and legs. He lays his head on my shoulder. He holds me there. He whispers "I love you Lex!" "Love you too Juan. Let's get you in bed." He dries off and throws on his boxers. He climbs in bed, I snatch a shirt of his out of his dresser and slide in beside him. I trace my fingers up and down his chest. "Thank you Lex." He says groggily. "For what babe?" He wraps his arm around me "For taking care of me." "Oh yeah, I always take care of the things I love!" He pinches my side, "Babe you know what I mean!" "Juan there's not been a moment since I met you, where I didn't want to take care of you. You're heart is my home!" He looks at me lovingly, "Lex...can you do me a favor?" "Mhm sure!" "Grab my kutte for me?" I get out of bed, grab his kutte and hand it to him. He sits up. "Come here and close your eyes babydoll." I sit beside him, my eyes closed. "Keep your eyes closed." He kisses my cheek and gets out the bed. I hear what I think is papers rustling and him clearing his throat. "Open your eyes Lex!" He's beside the bed, on one knee. Anxiety rises in my whole body. He grabs my left hand. "Lexus I have loved you since I was 17. That's never changed. I've always known that you were who I was going to spend my forever with. I want you Forever Lex. Marry me babydoll!" He slides a gorgeous little silver banded onyx ring on my finger. My mouth is slightly open. "Juan Carlos, are you sure?" He rolls his eyes, "Really?" I jump up on the bed, jerking him up with me. I scream "Yes!!!!! Yes baby!!! Yes!!!" He wraps his arms around my waist, lips pressed to my stomach. "Fuck I'm glad you said yes, I might not have gotten back up off the floor. You know dying of embarrassment and shit!"

The door flies open, "Wtf? What happened?" "Juice, wtf did you do to my sister???" "What the fuck?" Tig, Chibs and Jax fly inside JC's room. I can't control my laughter. Here it is almost 5 in the morning. I was just jumping on the bed in JC's dorm, I'm screaming, he's in just boxers, I'm in one of his shirts, he's literally holding me right now. I scream to everyone "We're getting married!" Instead of further irritation, everyone is excited! My brother pulls me aside, "I love you kiddo. I knew that this would happen one day!" "Oh did ya?" "Yep as soon as you came back, I saw it on his face. He loves you, he always will." I smirk at my big brother. "I love you too Jackson." A mischievous grin sprung up on his face. "Who's telling Mom and Clay!" I smile "Juan!" He laughs at me and leaves. We are alone again. We lay back in the bed. I'm floating right now, I'm happy, he's kissing me in all the right places. "Babe, let's get the house!" He pulls his head up from lining sweet little kisses down my stomach. He smiles at me "I thought you'd never bring it up!" I smile at him, we are happy, elated...things are perfect. We drift off to sleep. "Juan, I'm so fucking glad I came back." "Me too babydoll, me too. Please never leave me like that again." "Promise I'll always stay baby!"


	4. AllTheBrokenPieces

About two weeks after JC's surprise proposal my mother called for another family dinner. The club and all old ladies were there, Jax even got Tara to show up. Mom wasn't happy about it but I was glad they were spending time together again, I knew they were perfect for one another. He missed her and was never the same after she took off to become a doctor. I saw this light in him that I hadn't seen in forever. Tara was his soul mate and he was hers. This made me happy, my brother and nephew deserved to be happy. I texted JC before the dinner that I thought it'd be the perfect time to tell our family that we were getting married and were moving into our own house. He agrees. "Love you Lexi, see you tonight!" "Love you too JC!" Everyone was at or around the table, my mom beamed with excitement and pride. This was her family, this is what she built. I sat beside my mom and near my dad. I was waiting for the perfect opening to announce my great news. Juan Carlos was acting awfully weird. He was standoffish and very quite. I thought it might have been his nerves, after all my dad was a bit intimidating. He was normal earlier in the day. The more I looked at him, he seemed to sweat more. I began to develop a gross feeling in the pit of my stomach. I lost all will to tell my parents that Juice proposed to me. I eyed him and watched as he grew more nervous by the second. I stood up from the table. "Juan Carlos, will you help me move something in the garage really quick?" He nodded but said nothing. My dad stared me down as I walked into the garage.

"What is wrong babe?" I asked him hoping that my nervousness didn't break through my words. He still said nothing. He walked over and grabbed my hand. My heart began to sink into my stomach. "Juan you can tell me anything!" His eyes burned into me, they seemed glassy like he was hold back tears. I tried to pull his hand which was still holding mine to bring him closer but he didn't budge. He dropped my hand, he dropped his head, he stared at the floor and I felt cold as the fear of unknown words crept into every part of me. "Babydoll, you know that you are the most amazing and important thing in my life? Do you know that?" I can only shake my head as the words I tried to form shattered in my throat. "I know that Juan Carlos...What's going on?" He sighs deeply, rubbing his face with both hands. "I had a conversation with Caitlyn today. I told her that we were engaged and that we were going to move into our own place soon. She flipped out. She says if we go through with this I won't be able to see the baby. She says that her lawyer would make sure that custody was terminated. I can't do that to my kid Lexus. I can't let them grow up without me, being there." Tears trailed down his cheeks, I knew this broke him. I felt numb, I knew that this was going to happen. I knew that my life wouldn't be this easy. I just stared at him, there were no words to change his mind. There was nothing to change this latest blow. I brushed his cheek with my fingertips and touched my lips to his, I knew that this was it. "I know...I know you can't Juan Carlos. I'm so sorry that I came back and changed everything." My voice cracked, warm tears broke from my eyes, at least I could feel that. "Lex...Lexi please don't hate me. Please don't leave Charming again." "I don't hate you Juan. I will never hate you." I slid the ring off of my finger, I even removed the bracelet from my wrist. I dropped them in his hand and I heard him gasp. I couldn't say anything else, I walked out the garage, through the dinning room and into my bedroom and locked the door. I heard his bike start and drive off.

I spent all my time getting my bakery ready for opening day for the next three weeks. I rarely checked my phone and I damn sure didn't text anyone back. I didn't want to see his name, I didn't want to see him. If anyone wanted me they knew where I was. I heard the door open and the bell ring. "We're not open yet!" I call out. "I know, just wanted to check it out. See how it was coming." I look up to see David Hale. "Deputy Hale!" I'm a bit surprised. "Hi...ummm how are you?" I'd never small talked with him, I didn't know what to say. He flashed me a smile. "I'm doing well, I just thought I'd let you know how good I think this place will be for Charming." "Thanks Deputy Hale!" "David, you can call me David." "Well I guess that means you can call me Lex." He smiles again. I'm caught a bit off guard. I heard bikes off in the distance. "Would you like a coffee?" He looked around, "I'm on duty but maybe another time?" I think to myself, he probably thinks I'm offering as a date. I was trying to be friendly. "Ummm sure." The bikes are outside the bakery now. "Ill get going, have a great night and opening!" "Thanks David." My dad walks in, "What'd she do this time?" David shakes his head, "Nothing." and walks out. "What was that all about?" I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know." I continue to set up my display cases. "Your mom sent me to tell you that she wants you to come home for dinner." I stare out the window, Tig, Chibs and Happy are sitting on their bikes waiting on my dad. "I'm not hungry and I have lots to do here." He looks defeated. "You want to talk about it?" I said nothing. "Come on Princess, you know she's going to kill me if I come home without you!" I smirk at him. "Well you know, as long as it's not me!" I laughed. He hugged me "Come home for a little while." Reluctantly I agreed.

I got in the shower, the water washed away everything, it let my tears fall silently. I missed him, I missed what we planned. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to look at him, I wanted to see his beautiful chocolate eyes. I was so angry that Caitlyn was pulling this craziness. She won and it killed me. I sat on my bed and figured I should check my messages. Twenty nine from my overly worried mom. Six from Tori. One from Juan, I saved it from the night he left. I never opened it but I figured now was as good as any time to open it. "Lexi. I love you more than you'll ever know. I am begging you not to hate me. I know it's a lot to deal with. All I ever want for you is for you to be happy. Please know that I am doing this for my kid, I'll never love anyone as much or more than you. Forever Lexi." I closed my eyes, tears rolled down. I couldn't control myself. I threw my phone at the door, the screen shattered. My mom walked in and wrapped her arms around me. "It's ok baby, it's ok." After a while, I sat up. Wiped my face and hugged my mom. "Thank you, I needed that." She smiled. "Now you get up, you get your shit together and you make this life work for you!" She was right, I couldn't stop life because he was once again out of my life. I had to keep going.

The days passed quickly and the nights did too. Although there were reminders all over Charming of my love with Juan Carlos, I couldn't just drop out of sight. The bakery would be opened any day now. This was my dream, I finally achieved it. "We're almost ready to open!" Tori beamed at me. She was as excited as I was. "I kkkknnnnnoooowwww!" I squeal. There a tap on the glass. It was David. He was wearing regular clothes. "Hi Lex. Would you like to grab that coffee now?" Tori looked confused. I felt confused. "Errrr sure David." We walked to the coffee shop down the street. "You look very gorgeous today Lexi." I smile "Why, thank you David!" "Thanks for getting coffee with me. I wasn't sure you would!" "Really? Why not?" He looked at me and chuckled. "Because of who you are!" "I'm really confused!" He smiled again. "You are beautiful, you're young, I'm the same age as your brother and I'm a cop! I was also pretty rude to you before!" I laugh out loud. "David...you flatter me. You were kind of rude before." "I was. Forgive me?" "Sure!" "So I wanted to ask, would you be interested in going on a date with me? Maybe somewhere in San Joaquin?" I sigh. "Could it be a friend thing, I just got out of a relationship? You know, with Juice." He smiled even bigger. "Whatever you want!" We walk back to the bakery. "This is where I leave you Miss Marrow." "Thanks for the coffee David." He walks away. Tori grabs my hand. "What the hell?" "I have no idea what just happened but I think I'm going on a date with David Hale."

Today was opening day. I was so proud of myself. Tori and I had prepared cakes, croissants, bengals, donuts, cookies, bread and coffee. I gave out sweets to little visitors and I got tons of opening day business. My mom and Luann showed up to help out with whatever I needed. I was pleased and the day was almost perfect. It was perfect until Ima and Caitlyn walked in. Apparently they wanted to check out the bakery. I instantly wanted to punch her in the mouth but I didn't. I held myself together and ignored her. Tori waited on her. She sampled one of my chocolate chip cookies and spit it out. Claiming that it was gross. I rolled my eyes. She made it a point to exclaim loudly "I was going to take some of these to Juice but they taste so awful!" Tori couldn't contain herself, "And you're an awful cunt! I hope Juice comes to his senses and realizes you're a bitch!" She stared blankly at Tori. "I'm sure he thinks I'm a cunt. Besides I will never let him be happy without me, especially not with Lexus Morrow. If I can't have him, no one can. It makes me very happy to see her miserable." Tori laughed "Miserable? Look at her! Definitely not miserable! She's already dating!" As happy as I was for her standing up for me, my heart dropped to my stomach. I wasn't dating anyone, I was very much miserable and still in love with my JC. "Get out Caitlyn." I calmly walk to the door and hold it open. Ima pushes her lightly towards it. "Who are you dating?" I glare at her with such hatred. "None of your goddamn business. Now keep it moving Dollface. Don't you have some porn to make?" She laughs and says "No but I do need to check out Juices cock!" I slam the door behind her, fire flows through my every nerve. Ima stares at Tori and Gemma and then me. She mouths she's sorry. I shake my head and point at the door, she walks out quickly. I lock myself in the bathroom for a while. It was thirty minutes.

The end of the day was nearing. It was 7:30. Mom and Luann were gone, so was Tori. She had to get her kid from day care at 5:30. I heard a bike motor but didn't think anything of it. The door cracked open and the bell rang. I turned around expecting to see Jax but it wasn't him. There stood my JC. I took a step backwards and he took one forward. "Lex...are you ok?" I stare at him and all the anger I was suppressing began to spill over. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN AM I OK? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" He bites his bottom lip and looks at the floor. "Your mom told me that Ima and Caitlyn came in here today. I am so sorry. I am still not dating her Lex. I'm not with her." "...Ok?" I can feel the tears in the corners of my eyes. I wanted to hold him so much. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him beside me again. "They said you were dating someone!?!!" His voice was low but pained. I shake my head no, I continue to shake it. I sit in the floor. "Someone asked me on a date yes." I can't stop the words from flowing out of my mouth. "You made me promise to not leave again but you left me! YOU LEFT ME! And I'm here alone! And I can't think straight. I can't breathe. I don't want to be here alone!" He is on his knees in front of me in an instant. His hands on either side of my face. "I am here Lex. If you need me I am here. I can not consciously leave you. You are my whole world. I am always here. You will never know how much I just wanted to hold together all your broken pieces. You will always be my first and only love Lexus Morrow." I look at him "But we can't be together?" His eyes tear up. "I'm trying to figure out a way baby. I swear that I am." His lips touch my forehead and his thumbs trace my lips. "Why did you come here Juan?" He helps me off the floor. "I needed to see you Lex. I needed to make sure you were ok." "Well I'm not ok. I guess this is karma right?" His eyes lock into mine. "I love you Lexus. I'm so fucking sorry! Please forgive me. Please don't hate me." I stare at the floor. "Juan I will never hate you. And you are already forgiven. I love you so much. Never will I not love you. You are going to be a great daddy." Pain feels every inch of my body as I walk to the door and open it. He walks towards me, I could tell he was choking back tears. I place my hand over his heart as he walks by and say "Forever!" He nods as he walks out. "I'll see you soon Lexi. I promise!" I nod my head and give him a weak smile.

I lock the door behind him and feel a rush of pain and fear. What if that was the last time we ever speak? I had not felt this crappy since the day I left. My texts sounds off. It was a random number. "Its David. I hope you don't mind. I got your number from your uncle Wayne." I ignore it and finish up my closing the bakery. Silent tears keep me company as I count out my drawer. I hear a tap on the glass. Was he back, was he coming to say fuck Caitlyn and her idiotic way of keeping him. It wasn't my JC, it was David Hale. He smiles at me through the glass, his smile turns sour when he sees the tears streaming down my face. I let him in, company would be nice I think to myself. Company that isn't mom, Jax, dad or the club. He holds up a bag of hamburgers. "I thought opening day would make you hungry." "Thanks David, I actually am hungry." "It's none of my business Lexus but if you want to talk about it, I'd listen." I sigh "It's a long drawn out story. And this is nice." I gesture to the burgers and him sitting with me at a table. He smiles at me again and we continue to eat.


End file.
